Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
You made out with two different species that night
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Randomize
