good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
