Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Randomize
