I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
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