i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Randomize
