I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
