i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
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