Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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