I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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