well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
