worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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