i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
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