in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
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