Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
