when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Randomize
