we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
