Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Randomize
