Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
