i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
