Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
this boner is exhausting
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Randomize
