No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Randomize