Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
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