Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
