i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
