yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Randomize
