hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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