Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
You can't just leave with hair like that
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
