You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Randomize