The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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