I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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