There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
You ate ashes out of my bong
Randomize
