Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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