remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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