I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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