im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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