you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Randomize
