So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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