Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
