I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
