You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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