check it out our google latitudes are spooning
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Randomize
