just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
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