Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
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