I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
Randomize
