guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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