can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
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