Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I wish i was in the wii world.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
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