She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Randomize