No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
