Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize