GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
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