Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
