Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
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