Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
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