The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Randomize
