five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Randomize
