question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
