Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
