I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
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