Are we in a gay sports bar?
Where did you get a picture of my penis
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
