i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
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