Pappa wants mamma naked
I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
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