He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
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