Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
