there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Randomize
