I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize
