She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I could fuck to npr.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
