so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
you inspire me to be a worse person
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
