I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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