Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
