So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Randomize
