As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Randomize
