it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
