I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize